Whats up with the disrespect…

So ultimately i’m disappointed that I even have to blog about being disrespected by a grown man at the age of 26.

So as I’m peacefully sitting on my couch netflixing the night away I get a phone call which ends up turning into “your so negative, your so slow, whats wrong with your brain, when you say things like that I just dislike you even more.”

Uhhhhh excuse please don’t call me to bash me because your having an awful day. SERIOUSLY WTF. Why do you even bother calling me? Also, I don’t reach out to this douchbag anymore because I just gave up but he reaches out to me still and if someone calls me I’m not going to be rude and ignore. But now I’m going to start ignoring your phone calls until you decide to talk to me with respect. Im a grown woman and I don’t need to be spoken down to like that. I’m an Educated, independent, successful, classy woman.

So the statement that I made that caused this reaction….get ready to laugh!

So I’m very sarcastic and I’m pretty much a jokester and everyone knows that!

So he was about to eat dinner which was a turkey sandwich and I simply said, “Enjoy your turkey sandwich don’t choke on it!”

Who the fuck gets mad over that statement?

So, I responded with don’t call me just to start an argument and disrespect me and then that followed a text stating “I don’t understand why u call me to just be mean to me that’s not normal. Go be mean to other girls because I don’t deal with that.”

And the response I got …Well I didn’t get one because he’s a jerk and he knows it!

Needy or With the wrong person…

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So Earlier today I had posted this image to my instagram  (@PINKLIPSTICKBLOGGER) And I got a response that somewhat bugged me enough to have to blog about it and see what you guys think.

“That means you either to needy or with the wrong person.”

Hmm…not so sure I agree with this comment. I Don’t think because one loves  someone else a little more means there to needy, now with the wrong person possibly, But not needy. I’m a lover I have a lot of love to share not everyone else is like that and I get that but that doesn’t make me needy.

Now, some people tend to not be as affectionate as there significant other or they don’t know how to share or show love. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t in love with you. Some people just don’t like to show affection and theres nothing wrong with that. Showing a lot of love is okay and if you are able to do so theres nothing wrong with that, therefore just because I show a lot of love doesn’t mean i’m needy.

Actually Im so far from needy when I’m in a relationship I need my space or my alone and quiet days. Needy, me…NOPE!

What do you think?

P-D-O-I…

What the heck is PDOI…

Well, thats what I refer to myself sometimes because i’m totally a Public Display of Insanity!

So sometimes i’m a little much and very open to certain people about my life and I was just walking with my friends and I was like ” hey hold up I’m def a PDOI” oddly enough that label suites me.

Well, why would I mention this now?

Well, I just realized how much of an insane person I am. I don’t know what want? Who I want? Or what the heck I’m looking for. I tend to make bad choices but, I guess we all do right?

You live and you learn and quite frankly i just want to live and if I learn something from my mistake then so be it. But, I feel like there are some people out there who judge me  and these bad decisions. They don’t have to say anything I can just see it in there faces.

Sundays are a bad day for me because I tend to get bored and make bad decisions. Like hang with he D-bag I’ve been  hurt by and blogging about. At first I did not want to hang out with him one on one because he has this way of manipulating me and we just end of up flirting the whole time  and being giddy and cutesy with each other and  flirting tends to lead to touch and ideally that leads to other things. Once I start I just lose all my senses of self-control! Now, I’m sitting here thinking you moron what the heck were you thinking!!!!

It’s a tricky situation he’s going to be leaving to join the marine core at the end of May. So therefore in my eyes I won’t let myself get attached and at the same I know nothing serious will develop from this. So…Why not just have fun while he’s still around because once he leaves, I have a good feeling he wont be moving back to NY anytime soon nor will I being seeing him. So YOLO (for those of you who aren’t aware of what YOLO means-You Only Live Once).

Therefor… all that being said Im DEF a P-D-O-I and Y-O-L-O!

That Feeling…

So I’ve notice that it really doesn’t take much time for me to lose that feeling for someone!

Honestly theres nothing there, it’s so weird I spoke to the jerk about two nights ago and I was just annoyed with it and wanted to get off the phone ASAP. Why are you even contacting me?

It’s weird because I actually used to get excited when I received a phone call or a text message from this fool and now if I see his name on my phone I’m like “ewwwww”. I Feel like theres a couple of stages that you go through after disconnecting from someone.

1. The Rejection Stage-This is when you start to feel rejected (obviously) I think this is more personal though because you start to question yourself. What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough for him? Whats wrong with me? Am I to fat? Am I to ugly? Blah blah blah.

2. The I’m slightly Depressed Stage-This is a stage that you start to feel after you start to miss certain things. Like the kisses, the constant contact, the compliments, The good mornings and goodnights and the overall the companionship.

3.The Fuck that Douchebag Stage-This stage is my favorite because I’m currently in this stage and I love it. This stage involves the fact that you have realized that he was a total scumbag, who was using you and now you see that and now you what nothing to do with him. Now you just want to live life happily and peacefully without a douchebag ruining that happiness and peace! Glad to have calmness back in my life. That whole situation was driving me nuts!!!!

Overall I don’t miss him i’m 100% better off without that headache causing chaos in my life. I don’t think I was upset and down in the beginning because I missed him or wanted him. It was more so of the idea of having a significant other.

I know he’s out there waiting for me somewhere and when the time is right that will all come together for me. So instead of me putting my life in a time line i’m just going to live freely and not care what anyone thinks about it because if theres one thing you can’t and shouldn’t rush its LOVE. Time is of the essence, so I’m going to embrace this time to focus on ME because I’m important and so is my happiness!

Put yourself out there…

So this weekend I hung out with my usual crew. Hit a couple of bumps along the way but overall it was a successful weekend.

So every female goes through a time where they are just not comfortable with themselves and over analyze everything for no reason at all just because its one of those days. Well, I was having  one of those days and vented to friends which turned into my dating life and how awful it is.  I like how people who have settled down love to say put yourself out there. Okay, if it was that easy I wouldn’t be single right now.

It’s not easy putting yourself out there especially when all of your friends are in relationships, it makes it harder to go out to a bar and  flirt with guys.  (not saying it’s their fault as to why i’m single, just saying that you have more of a playing field when your friends are down to do things other then shop and eat!) My friends usually just want to go out to eat and then go home and snuggle with there boyfriends, husbands or fiancees. So their fore I somewhat lack a social night life because I’m obviously not going to go out alone. I find that very weird I truly don’t understand how people can go to a bar and sit there and drink alone and meet people.

Yeah, so you people who tell me to “put yourself out there” tell me exactly how to do so and I will try because when I asked, you couldn’t come back with a response because you don’t even know how to explain to me how to “Put Yourself out there”.

Any one have any advice on how to “Put yourself out there”?

Slipping…

I feel my self slipping away.

Starting to go downward and I can’t wrap my head around this. WHY? Why am I feeling this way?  See I live my life through a timeline thats just how i’ve always been.

By 26 I guess I envisioned myself in a serious relationship that would potentially be heading towards marriage, married by 27-28, kids by 28-30. Boom after all that I can live without my timeline.

Umm so far i’m 26 and single and super complicated with a dog. Yeah that timeline is sitting in the dumps right about now!

Im in such a funk and can’t snap out of it. The tears are constantly flowing down my face which has me do my makeup several times a day, yeah my foundation is exspensive so its kind of annoying. Im also a nanny and tend to be extremely fun and enjoy my job but lately the happy bubbly me has checked out and I noticed even my little dude has taken notice of that…uhhh he’s three! Going to bed before its even dark out.  Kind of checked out with my friends don’t really feel like being social. But I want to go out and drink with them. I don’t even get me I confuse myself.

Yeah and Sam Smith isn’t helping at all. 

Constant Contact…Gone.

So I’m feeling  a little lonesome right now. I’m not sure how to interpret this feeling. I guess its because when You stop talking to someone you tend to miss the constant contact. The  “Good Morning” texts,  the “hope you have nice day” the “Good night” texts as well. You miss the small talk through out the day and the compliments always helped to!

But now theres nothing!

I was never okay or understood how people can just completely cut people off. I don’t get it and I don’t like it. Not just with people you are dating but in other relationships as well. I can never just accept it when someone cuts me off. It always affects me no matter how we ended it. Whether its Good or bad.

I was friends with this one girl forever and we just stopped talking for the most immature reason ever. I had tried numerous times to make it work and just move on but she couldn’t do it, so she just cut me off. Till this day I just don’t understand it and can’t seem to really get over it. I am over it but the thought is still there. Why? What did I do wrong? Whats the reasoning for it? I guess I just need a solid sense of closure with every relationship I encounter.

Back to constant contact, Yeah, I guess I can say I miss that. We always said we would stay friends for the simple fact that we have mutual friends and his brothers wife is my best friend, practically my sister. So out of respect for them we said we would always keep it civil. Being that we would encounter each other no matter what. Don’t want any tension there. I guess its still fresh and we will see what the future holds. Not going to lie even though he did me dirty Im a very forgiving person and tend to get over things fairly quickly. Hence, why people always tend to take advantage of me. (Got to work on that one!) But, I miss just simply hanging out with him or more so the four of us! Yeah, we did that a lot.

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