Wants vs. Needs…

I need a Bottle of whiskey to get me through this day!

So we all have WANTS AND NEEDS… currently i’m fucking needy as hell. I got spoiled with attention by a man for two weeks and now I want more. So here’s a list of my wants and my needs.

Wants…

I want…to find a nice guy…

A stable relationship…

A man who makes me feel comfortable…

Respect…

Love…

An easy work life…

Time for the gym…

Time for me (and my dog!)…

Needs…

I need…A one night stand with a sexy man…(to show myself I still have game)

To go on more dates…

Find peace within myself…

Be happy in my workplace…

To get over this soldier…

Move on…

To be honest without my NEEDS I won’t get my WANTS!

 

Back-Single Bitches!

So I’m back and YES I’m still single!

Holy shit though I seriously need to get a grip on this life!

So lets sum things up because its been a while!

My year and a half long Boy toy joins the military disappears  for three months at boot camp, I fly to Georgia For graduation we reconnect and have probably the best sex I’ve ever had, mind you he was in uniform…Holy shit men in uniform just turn the fuck on! So after that I tell myself what the fuck now your even more into him because of your little trip.

Three weeks go by and he comes home for the holidays….

More sex and an excessive amount of bonding literally two weeks straight of bonding , spent every holiday together and I was told he had neglected many people for me which was true he neglected his whole family! That must mean something right???

Literally I felt like I was finally in the relationship that I always wanted but it  was over before I knew it the 14 days were Gone  in a blink of an eye… now he went back to training and will be deployed to south Korea for a year and a half.

This asswhole is just so tough and has a rough time expressing his feelings and emotions because he’s so afraid to fall in love but I can just tell how he feels about me. Plus when a mans grown ass best friend approaches you and says “Mark my words it might not be right now, but in the future I just know you and him will be together so be patient” OHHHHHHH MYYYY GOSHHHHH dude I’ve been patient for way to long. I don’t think I can wait any longer I feel so old and I’m ready to be loved and love someone else. But hey if it so happens to be that we are both single when he returns then why not give it a shot!

In his words “only time will tell.”

 

Fitting in…

The struggle is real at 27 years old I never thought I would find myself in this position. I love my friends and I love spending time with them but I’m struggling to figure out where I fit in! So before my Man friend left for the army I used to love hanging out with them but now I feel like I just don’t fit in. They all have this  common interest that just doesn’t really fit in with my life or I haven’t figured out how to make it fit in​ their common interest is “God” and  “church”  they all go to the same church and they all have extremely strong beliefs about God.  Now I personally haven’t really had such a relationship with god, which kind of makes it hard for me to fit in. I somewhat feel like I just can’t be myself around them. So I bring this up because the person who I was interested in also felt the same way I did so now that I’m riding solo on this whole view I just feel left out. Also, it’s hard for me to adapt to the thought of having “new people” around when you have surrounded yourself with the same  group of people for the past two years.

Im also struggling a bit with life in general so I really don’t want to share my vulnerable side with a bunch of strangers. Plus, I struggle with their level of maturity.  Yes, I have a sense of humor but to a certain extent theres always jokes running  around never can I say that we have had a serious conversation. It’s starting to get quite irritating. Your probably wondering then why do u surround yourself with these people? Well that because they are friends of my best friends husband and therefore if I want to hang with my best friend I kind of have to deal…But I just can’t any more! It annoys the crap out of me.

Should I being dealing with an issue like this at 27?

Social silence….

Anyone ever go through a phase where you don’t want to interact with anyone? Or social media? Or hang with friends? 

Holy moly I’m going through that right now and I basically want nothing to do with the people I usually talk to on a daily basis. WTF. I’ve even gotten messages from friends “why are you so quiet?” “Are you okay?” 

I just want to be alone right now I’m not in any type of mood to be funny, make jokes or just be around anyone. 

Mind you, I’m a social butterfly typically with friends all the time. Never really gone through this and I don’t really understand why I’m going through this?

Is it because I’m feeling a little lonely? But why not surround myself with people who love and care about me? Instead I back away and sulk in this loneliness…is that normal? 

Anyone else get the social blues?

Single woman problems…

27 single & living...

So i’m 26 and all of my friends are in relationships i’m the only single one left and let me tell that shit is not easy.

  1. Girl time is limited.
  2. Boyfriends, husbands, or fiancees are also topic of conversations-all the time.
  3. Love them all but sometimes I want to talk to you about my vagina in private.
  4. Third wheel crap sucks
  5. I want to get hammered and look for men, they want to sip wine and eat pasta
  6. Activities get BORING
  7. The need to know about my non existent love life is always questioned
  8. My favorite is when i’m being asked for advice I will give it, but in my head i’m totally thinking why would you want advice from me, a single chick who has no success in the dating world.
  9. Events- when all there men come and then here goes the single girl waltzing in.
  10. Couples nights- thanks…

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One week your having sex next week your lonely & being a fat ass…

So the man that this blog is basically based on is finally gone. He shipped off to the military, currently in basic training in Georgia. So we left off on a great note. Spent ALOT of time together before he had left, which ultimately made things a lot harder for me.

So, he left last Tuesday and it had hit me real hard that following Thursday while I was sitting on my couch being a fat ass and eating Belgian chocolate ice cream. This thought crossed my mind literally word for word “Damn last Thursday I was being a slutty slut on this couch and now I’m being fat and eating ice cream and feeling lonely and depressed all at the same time!”

Yeah I know a humorous yet sad thought. I literally laughed and then frowned. But it’s true and I’m having a difficult time adjusting to him not being around.

I’m starting to miss the snuggles, hugs, kissing, the constant contact, someone to go out to eat with, someone to be silly with…wow writing this down makes me realize these are all the things you would do with a boyfriend. Not going to lie it felt that way for his last two weeks given two days where I wanted to stab him LOL. We were basically acting as if we were in a relationship but we weren’t at all!

This whole experience made me realize that being in a relationship is the one thing that is missing from my life! Ha I can’t believe I finally admitted that. It’s all right though none of my bitches can read this anyway so I basically just admitted that to myself! But don’t tell anyone.  LOL

I’m happy that he’s finally living out his dream but selfishly I wish he was here To fill that void. We probably wouldn’t be as happy with each other if there wasn’t a deadline though. That deadline made him and myself take notice to how much we care about each other and aside from all the drama how much we actually enjoy spending time with each other. But if he never left for the military I probably wouldn’t be able to deal with him, being that he’s a major player and loves the games. But those last two weeks I saw a side of him that I had never seen before and it made me fall for him yet again!!!

All that being said…I miss him and I officially hate being lonely.

Sincerely, A 26 yr old female who’s about to sit on the couch and eat another tub of ice cream!