Anyone ever go through a phase where you don’t want to interact with anyone? Or social media? Or hang with friends?
Holy moly I’m going through that right now and I basically want nothing to do with the people I usually talk to on a daily basis. WTF. I’ve even gotten messages from friends “why are you so quiet?” “Are you okay?”
I just want to be alone right now I’m not in any type of mood to be funny, make jokes or just be around anyone.
Mind you, I’m a social butterfly typically with friends all the time. Never really gone through this and I don’t really understand why I’m going through this?
Is it because I’m feeling a little lonely? But why not surround myself with people who love and care about me? Instead I back away and sulk in this loneliness…is that normal?
Anyone else get the social blues?
So the man that this blog is basically based on is finally gone. He shipped off to the military, currently in basic training in Georgia. So we left off on a great note. Spent ALOT of time together before he had left, which ultimately made things a lot harder for me.
So, he left last Tuesday and it had hit me real hard that following Thursday while I was sitting on my couch being a fat ass and eating Belgian chocolate ice cream. This thought crossed my mind literally word for word “Damn last Thursday I was being a slutty slut on this couch and now I’m being fat and eating ice cream and feeling lonely and depressed all at the same time!”
Yeah I know a humorous yet sad thought. I literally laughed and then frowned. But it’s true and I’m having a difficult time adjusting to him not being around.
I’m starting to miss the snuggles, hugs, kissing, the constant contact, someone to go out to eat with, someone to be silly with…wow writing this down makes me realize these are all the things you would do with a boyfriend. Not going to lie it felt that way for his last two weeks given two days where I wanted to stab him LOL. We were basically acting as if we were in a relationship but we weren’t at all!
This whole experience made me realize that being in a relationship is the one thing that is missing from my life! Ha I can’t believe I finally admitted that. It’s all right though none of my bitches can read this anyway so I basically just admitted that to myself! But don’t tell anyone. LOL
I’m happy that he’s finally living out his dream but selfishly I wish he was here To fill that void. We probably wouldn’t be as happy with each other if there wasn’t a deadline though. That deadline made him and myself take notice to how much we care about each other and aside from all the drama how much we actually enjoy spending time with each other. But if he never left for the military I probably wouldn’t be able to deal with him, being that he’s a major player and loves the games. But those last two weeks I saw a side of him that I had never seen before and it made me fall for him yet again!!!
All that being said…I miss him and I officially hate being lonely.
Sincerely, A 26 yr old female who’s about to sit on the couch and eat another tub of ice cream!
I find that when I take some time to stop writing it helps me return with some juicy,sad, happy and funny things to write about! It’s probably been about two months or more since my last post and let me tell you…i’m so backed up with all the crap that has been going on in my life I feel like I’m going to explode! So prep yourselves for a rambling 26 year old single female who’s got a lot of shit to say!!!!!
So I have this neighbor. Lets just say he’s 6’8 and 270 pounds of delicious looking manly motherfucking muscle. I know this precise info because I have stalked his life for the past 48 hrs. According to his description on Instagram he’s also a personal trainer which explains the ridiculously hot body not to mention the side swept hair and a light beard…The fucking sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life no exxageration.
So this fucking sexy neighbor of mine has suddenly peeked some interest in me, so we both drive the same car…STRIKEEEEE one we have something in common I repeat something in common. FYI- this is the hottest man that has ever peeked interest in me. Proceed…So he has tried about 4-5 times to flirt with me and OMG I freeze every time he looks in my direction. I have a very bubbly loud and happy personality and I’m actually pretty funny and have a witty send of humor…but I become retarded whenever he looks at me or talks to me I literally can’t speak, I stutter and I blush too. He must think Im autistic I swear.
So I was casually walking my dog on Sunday afternoon and I had just came from dinner with friends and I have on this low cut V-neck romper which makes my butt look F-A-B. Now I know I look cute so I cross the street and I walk passed him Mind you he’s shirtless and immediately I get nervous and pretend to be checking emails. So this older man standing next to him tries to pet my dog. That little bitch was nasty and barking but that bitch sparked up conversation.
So, He started talking to me acting like he’s a dog lover and interested in my dog. He called her a cute shitzshu ummm she’s a yorkie. But, I wouldn’t care if he thought she was a rat! So Whenever I see him all I think is damn SEX with him would probably be so fucking amazing. So he said something like “this little thing is so tough barking at big people” I replied “yeah she has a thing for BIG THINGS” and then I def gave this skanky smile without even realizing that came out so perverted. So he looks at me so seductively and gives me a little chuckle and winks at me. MY VAGINA MELTED!!!!!
He kept smiling at me and making eye contact and saying these cute little remarks as the rest of the male neighbors were so intrigued by my 6 lb yorkie. ALL I THOUGHT WAS HE WANTS IT! Dude you can have its free! Here take it right now! So I haven’t seen him since but i’m dying too! I just want to be like heres my number…but I’m such a wuss and can’t speak or act properly when he looks my way…Really? IM SUCH A DUMBASS… I can’t believe I let someones beauty intimidate me. Girl your 26 and confident why do you shut down in front of this sexy beast!!!
After staying friends with someone who you some what dated. It’s not so easy because your feelings can easily reignite.
So, after not talking to him or not seeing him for about a month and a half. We then reunite at a BBQ and let me tell you was someone extra nice which is rare because he’s kind of cold and doesn’t tend to show that side very often.
After hanging for a couple hrs. He then proceeds to exclaim how he has “turned over a new leaf” WTF where was this fucking leaf four months ago! All I thought was “oh no I like this new leaf crap, he’s so sweet and so nice.” I thought about this lot and all I kept thinking was damn this was the person I’ve been looking for in you this whole time! Where the fuck has he been because its to late now! Unfortunately he just enlisted into the military and there basically no future with someone who is going to be away! Long distance is a straight up hell no for me! Its unfortunate because if you were this nice before I guarantee we would have lasted and been in a healthy relationship.
I’ve come to the conclusion that his attitude and unhappiness was all showing because he wasn’t happy with the direction that his life was going in. Now I can just see the ease in his eyes and I can see that he is finally happy and ready for this new beginning and that makes me happy! It makes me happy because I had the feeling that maybe it wasn’t me who was fucking it up, which is what I have thought the whole time. Now I get it and now I understand.
Have a happy life!
Ps- He’s still around for the next two months so we will see how that goes!